Associated Social Stupidity (ASS)
I generally think most people could stand to be more self aware. Having said that, I think I might have witnessed the most extreme act of ridiculousness in quite some time. Boarding the Times Square Shuttle right below Times Square, my right ear picks up a prerecorded voice. In New York, we hear a lot of ghost voices through the subway system: train announcements, pages, next stop information, delay notifications and the like. And most times the messages are either too loud, garbled or a combination of both so commuters reluctantly wait and figure it will all work out eventually. This time however, the pre recorded voice was asking someone to press 1 for English and 2 for Spanish. “Am I on hold” I thought? A sideways glance identified the culprit, holding an older model phone housed in industrial rubber two inches from his face. He was looking at the phone, while calling a tech support line or agency of some sorts…while listening to the robotic navigation instructions for the hold menu. It was not enough that someone begins a tech support call a minute before the train goes too deep into a tunnel to get reception, barely enough time to learn that “0” is not a recognized number, but to have the call on extra loud speakerphone gives birth to the term “Associated Social Stupidity”, or ASS.Suffering an ASS is marked by the following short cycled symptoms: (1) Being held against your will in earshot of people subjecting a general population to any one or all of the following: inane conversation, hold music, ringtones and/or cursing in front of children. (2) The inherent blood pressure rise associated with suppression of desire to perform any or all of the following actions: harm, maim, subject to Irritable Bowel Syndrome, or the loss of one toe via lobster claw.
It is hard to identify what is more displeasing, being on hold with a large bureaucracy or internment at Abu Ghraib. But to be forced to listen to menu options when I am not having trouble with my printer or calling to speak to an Orbitz representative is about the most maddening situation one can think of. And the world will be a slightly better place if, at the moment the speaker phone went on, the phone automatically combusted. But it isn’t the fault of the phone, merely the user who doesn’t know protocol and being an ASS is becoming more prevalent as people think that whoever disagrees can kiss the very place named for the affliction which they already possess.
posted by UpperWestSideGuy @ 10:03 PM
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