Whatnots & Bon Mots

Screws and Nuts

No one ever gives the screw you sign anymore. You know the one, where you push your left wrist into the crux of your right arm as it’s formed into a right angle, but when was the last time you have ever seen a good “screw you” being thrown your (or someone else’s) way?

There are several reasons why this recent demise has occurred. One, who says “screw you” anymore? Screw you is kind of laughable. If you were in an argument with someone and they said, “go screw yourself” I think the immediate response would be a smile. I mean ok I could go screw myself but telling me to go f**k myself has much more resonance. With the dearth of the “screw you” phrase, obviously there is less of a need for non-verbal expressions of this sentiment.

Secondly, the gesture is really involved. I mean the middle finger, a direct and universally recognized sign only needs ONE FINGER. You could have a package in your hand and still express yourself with the middle finger pretty succinctly. The “screw you” takes both hands, arms and movement. Way too involved. How could you make a scre you sign when driving? You’d have to take both hands off the wheel entirely! It’s like sending a text message that says “I love you my darling” when only “luv u” will suffice. Today’s fast paced world has resulted in abbreviated communications and an expression that involves one half of your appendages is antithetical to our instant gratification society. Besides, the middle finger offers much faster gratification. I timed it- it takes less then one second to flip the bird and almost double that (an entire second) to form the screw you pose and then hold it so the recipient knows what you are doing.

Lastly, popular culture has all but done away with gestures in the first place. I mean if someone makes you upset don’t most young-uns post something on the Internets? Our daily interactions are blunted by portable music players, cell phones, video games, Blackberrys and the like. If someone cuts you off in traffic, most of the time you just curse out loud or complain to whomever you are on the phone with.

Thankfully, the term “you’re screwed” maintains its staying power. Its hard to say “you’re f**ked” to most people but if one is screwed there is less hostility and finality then being f**ked.

Sidenote: “Screw You’s” cousin, the finger circle next to the head to symbolize craziness has also been vastly diminished. This is due to more medications being prescribed to the general public and an overall reduction in homelessness in major cities.

posted by UpperWestSideGuy @ 3:30 PM